Saffy Yousaf

Life can be Saffy sometime!

recent posts

  • Growing up in the 90’s: A unique childhood

    Growing up in the ’90s was a distinct experience, filled with unique challenges and unexpected blessings. As the sixth of seven siblings, life was a mix of shared resources and individual adventures. Limited TV access meant I didn’t always get my choice of shows, and meals were simple, with sweets being a rare treat earned from a lucky penny at the corner shop. Fashion was basic, with hand-me-downs being the norm, saved for special occasions like Eid or when the sales racks offered a gem. My early experiences in imaging and modeling are filled with unique memories, each adding a layer to my understanding of the world.

    One vivid memory is the day our house burnt down—a mystery still unsolved, with the culprit brother remaining unknown. Too young to fully grasp the gravity, I recall standing at the bottom of the stairs, sensing the surrounding panic. That evening, our neighbor’s kitchen floor became our dining room, a testament to community support. This family has always been close to ours, and one of my best friends, whom I love for his loyalty, kindness, and brutal honesty, is part of that family. While the fire’s trauma didn’t significantly affect me directly, I’m sure it left lasting scars on my family. Emotional affection was rare; hugs and kisses were scarce. However, I am forever grateful for being nourished, cared for, and feeling safe.

    At eight, witnessing my father’s attack by a racist thug during a National Front event was a turning point. The memory of arguing with my siblings over cheese and onion crisps moments before the attack is stark. Experiencing racism at such a young age was traumatizing, and I’ll never forget the fear and unsettling feeling of seeing my father attacked. This event instilled in me a lifelong commitment to standing up against injustice. School was often enjoyable, and my outgoing nature helped me thrive. I excelled in math, dance, and drama. One bizarre experience was staging a kidnapping to raise funds for a new play structure. It was only later that I realized how extreme this was. Chosen as a volunteer, I remember wearing a disguise, tying up a man, and demanding a cheque, which made local news. Looking back, it made me question the methods used but also appreciate the unique experiences I had.

    I was a gifted child, often placed in the higher-achieving group at school. I excelled in tests and enjoyed reading “The Hobbit” to the class. I was considered for a private education scholarship, but I missed the exam due to a family trip to Pakistan for my siblings’ weddings. The trip was eye-opening, exposing me to a modest lifestyle and the challenges of rural living. While I believe I would have been awarded the scholarship, I am grateful for the experiences and lessons I learned. Every child faces their own unique challenges, and I am grateful for growing up without computers, enjoying simple pleasures like pencils and crayons.

    Growing up in the ’90s, amidst a backdrop of both vibrant cultural shifts and personal challenges, forged a resilient core within me. Navigating the complexities of a bustling household, where diverse personalities and experiences converged, taught me the art of compromise and the importance of clear communication. Witnessing unexpected acts of kindness from neighbors and community members during difficult times illuminated the power of human connection and the enduring spirit of generosity. Even confronting prejudice and discrimination, while painful, instilled in me a deep sense of empathy and a commitment to fighting for equality.

    These moments, both big and small, have woven into the fabric of who I am today. I carry forward the lessons learned, appreciating the strength forged in adversity and the unwavering support of those who believed in me. The simple joys of childhood – laughter shared with siblings, the thrill of discovering new music, and the comfort of a warm meal – remain vivid reminders of the beauty that can be found even in the midst of hardship.

    While my childhood wasn’t always easy, it instilled in me a deep sense of gratitude for the simple things and a commitment to making a positive impact on the world. I strive to approach each day with a spirit of resilience, knowing that I have the strength to overcome challenges and the capacity to create a brighter future for myself and others. The ’90s may be long gone, but the lessons I learned during those formative years continue to guide me on my journey.”

  • letting go: Releasing to Receive

    Have you ever held onto something so long that your hand went numb? The same principle applies to our emotions. Clinging to relationships or friendships that cause persistent pain can be an excruciating experience. Does this mean we should stop caring altogether? Not necessarily. When love and genuine connection are involved, completely ceasing to care is rarely possible. Letting go is undoubtedly tough, but sometimes it’s a necessary step for our own well-being and that of others.

    It can be painful, and the sadness might feel endless. However, letting go can also bring a profound sense of relief. Think back to that numb hand: when we finally release what we’re holding, blood flows again, restoring its function. It’s similar with relationships. By letting go, we empower ourselves and redirect our energy toward more positive and constructive avenues. I’m writing about letting go because of my own experiences holding onto grudges with so-called friends who wronged me. Eventually, letting go revealed that those experiences were lessons, not true friendships, teaching me the importance of valuing myself.

    My most recent experience involved a romantic relationship. Letting her go was the only way to preserve both our sanity and well-being. Often, we ignore red flags, indulging in fantasies of what could be, but we end up damaging ourselves and others by holding on for too long. Like trees shedding blossoms to produce fruit, we must let go to foster our own growth. When a tree is left bare, it can focus its energy on reproduction and growth.

    Recognizing the negative impact of certain people is one thing, but letting go of detrimental habits and dark thoughts is another challenge altogether. For over a decade, I was a frequent cannabis user. Initially, it served as an escape, but soon I found myself unable to function without it. Paranoid thoughts began to surface, isolating me from reality. Quitting was incredibly difficult, marked by withdrawal symptoms and mood swings, but eventually, the dark clouds dissipated. I’m proud of my decision to quit, and one of the reasons I started blogging was because of the broken sleep caused by the withdrawals. Everything has its own blessing; letting go is indeed a blessing in disguise.

    Our thoughts exist in a solitary realm. No one can ever fully comprehend them. Some are dark and paranoid, shaped by our values and experiences. These thoughts have the power to ruin lives and relationships. Letting them go is perhaps the most challenging task of all. So, how do we release ourselves from these thoughts and habits? I don’t claim to have all the answers. What helps me is asking myself, “What do I have to be grateful for?” and “What benefit will these thoughts ultimately achieve?” Rationalizing our thinking is the hardest task, and we should listen to others. We will always believe our own thoughts, but reaching out to loved ones, friends, and work colleagues can help balance out extreme thinking.

    In conclusion, letting go is a multifaceted process that touches various aspects of our lives. Whether it’s releasing toxic relationships, overcoming harmful habits, or managing negative thoughts, the act of letting go is essential for personal growth and well-being. While it may be painful and challenging, the freedom and clarity it brings can allow us to focus on what truly matters and build a better version of ourselves. Trust that letting go will liberate you and enable you to concentrate on the more important aspects of your life. What doesn’t break you makes you stronger.

  • The blog begins!

    It’s always tough starting something new, especially when you want to be reflective right from the start. So, here we go.

    Life has thrown a few curveballs lately. My brother’s been in the hospital, and family and friends are going through their own struggles. I even had to take a break from work – ironic, since I was recently recognized for my hard work and success there – to be home with my parents. As you follow my journey, you’ll see setbacks, for sure, but also incredible achievements and bright spots, even in the darkest times.

    I’ve always been a positive person, and that’s because I’m grateful for every single blessing in my life. I hope to share my experiences and, in turn, motivate and inspire others to become the best versions of themselves. Nobody’s life is perfect, and that’s a huge motivator to keep striving to be better.

    I’m full of faults, weaknesses, regrets, and have definitely had my share of sad times. But those things will never define me or bring me down. We all make mistakes – that’s how we learn and grow. No one is perfect, and you can’t please everyone. So, try your best, and, well, you know… the rest!

  • Hello World!

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